New York’s irreverent April Fools’ Day Parade returns, poking fun once again at the past year’s displays of hype, hypocrisy, deceit, bigotry, and downright foolishness. Nothing is sacred. Our satire knows no bounds. The parade this year will be a massive “TRUMPATHON” celebrating our president’s greatest fixation — himself. We’re inviting everyone to help us amass the world’s largest assembly of Trump look-alikes to march in the parade from 5th Avenue and 59th Street down to Washington Square Park in New York City. Download and print your Trump mask here.
New York, New York, February 27, 2017–New York’s irreverent April Fools’ Day Parade returns, poking fun once again at the past year’s displays of hype, hypocrisy, deceit, bigotry, and downright foolishness. Nothing is sacred. Our satire knows no bounds. The 32nd Annual April Fools’ Day Parade will begin at Fifth Avenue and 59th Street at 12 noon, Saturday, April 1, 2017. Rain or shine, the parade will march down Fifth Avenue to Washington Square Park for the climactic selection of the King of Fools from the costumed look-alikes. Marchers create outrageous floats and dress up in colorful costumes mirroring the folly of the previous year’s nuttiest politicians, corporate leaders, celebrities and whoever else has made a total fool of themselves.
Get your Donald Trump look-alike mask: http://aprilfoolsdayparade.com/trumpmask.pdf.
Print it, cut it out, and wear it to the parade. And please tweet and re-tweet about this epic TRUMPATHON!
The theme for this year’s parade is “MAKE RUSSIA GREAT AGAIN!” The Grand Marshall will be a Donald Trump look-alike. He will lead the All Brass Balls Marching Band (a.k.a. Trump’s Cabinet members), playing the Russian National Anthem. Color commentary will be provided by an Alec Baldwin look-alike as Donald Trump. The parade route will be showered with over 100 tons of confetti from fake news courtesy of Facebook, Twitter, Google, Fox News, InfoWars, Breitbart and others.
We’re announcing the 2017 King of Fools in advance this year. It’s Donald Trump. But to keep it democratic, there will be a vote at the end of the parade anyway.
Says Parade Organizer Joey Skaggs, “April Fools’ Day, once a day of celebrating alternative truth, has now officially been extended to 365 days of the year.”
The first float will be a “YUGE” Donald Trump Golden Ass float with a giant head, giant ass, and tiny hands. Kissing the float will be the entire roster of political ass-kissers, including Mitt Romney, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Ben Carson, Chris Christie, Carly Fiorina, Kanye West, Benjamin Netanyahu, Rudy Giuliani, assorted White Supremacists and the KKK. Then comes the Empty Trump Taxes float, followed by the Empty Exxon Mobil Climate Documents float, the Empty Kellyanne Conway Bolling Green Massacre float, the Empty Fox News Swedish Terrorist Attack float, and the Overflowing Hillary Clinton Email float which will be driven by FBI Director James Comey. Hillary’s emails will be used as kindling for the Burning Woman effigy in Washington Square Park.
Next will be the Groping-with-Donald float featuring Roger Ailes, Bill Cosby and Anthony Weiner. They will be grabbing at life-size blow-up sex dolls. A North Dakota Pipeline Law Enforcement float will spray frigid water into the crowd. Then there’s the Fleet of Don’s Gender-Neutral Johns on their way down to the park.Ryan Lochte and his Olympic Swim Team mates will be attempting to urinate on the moving toilets. Bringing up the rear will be the Isolationist Brexit float surrounded by a high razor-wire security fence, with political refugee look-alikes trying to scale it.
As the parade enters Washington Square Park, the festivities will begin. There will be a 50-ft Burning Woman effigy of Hillary Clinton. Everyone is encouraged to toss their Samsung Galaxy Note 7 smartphones onto the pyre.
Ivanka Trump will host a “Don’t You Wish You Were Me?” booth selling her clothing and accessories. Next door, the Gwyneth Paltrow booth will sell her jade egg-shaped stones for your vagina. Vladimir “Valdemort” Putin will host a Computer Hacking Tutorial. Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte will run a Drug Dealer Shooting Gallery.
At the Walk-in Clinic, Russian Olympic coaches will give away free performance enhancing drugs; Theranos’ Elizabeth Holmes will offer free useless blood tests; and Milan’s Martin Shkreli will give away free EpiPens. Free water contaminated with industrial solvents, benzene, and other chemicals will be provided courtesy of Marine Corp Base Camp Lejeune. Pizza from Comet Ping Pong, the Pizzagate restaurant, will be served by Mike Flynn and his son, Michael Flynn, Jr..
Parade floats will be powered by non-environmentally friendly, non-fuel-efficient Fiat Chrysler diesel engines. Sponsors include the Donald J. Trump Foundation and Wells Fargo. Security is provided by killer clowns dressed as cops profiling the crowd. The King of Fools will be Donald Trump, however, trying to maintain some semblance of democracy, the crowd will vote with their voices making it official. The winner reigns through March 31, 2018.
The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. Floats can be no wider than 10’ and no longer than 30’. They can be self-propelled, towed, pushed or pulled. Customized bicycles, tricycles, baby carriages and aerial balloons are welcome. The parade will start at 59th Street and Fifth Ave at 12 noon, and will pass by Trump Tower at 12:15 pm. The Parade Committee assumes no liability for damages caused by satire.
For more information, contact: Joey Skaggs . Committee Chair . 212-254-7878
firstname.lastname@example.org . http://aprilfoolsdayparade.com
©2017 Joey Skaggs